The plight of Moses Kuria during the honours awards for 2023 reminded me of one George Wamaviti, the fisi or hyena, as it were. Before Wamaviti became George, he was just Wamaviti. Then the hyena baptist came along with his water, catechism classes and a bag of names. Wamaviti rummaged through the basket of names and settled for the name George. However, before he could acquire the new exotic moniker, he had to attend some baptismal catechism classes. Trouble for Fisi started early in the baptism classes. This came after the Baptist, himself a champion corpse eater, announced that any Fisi wishing to be baptised had to stop the habit of eating corpses.
George Fisi, who by now was not officially George, was worried by this edict. He asked the teacher. “Teacher, I have a question”.
“Go ahead, George, ask,, replied the teacher.
“ Suppose”, continued George, “I find a corpse by the way side and I pass on the other side without looking at it. Is that a sin?”
“No, George. That is not a sin”. Replied the master.
The next day, again, George had a question. “Teacher, started George, “suppose I find a corpse by the way side and I look at it, but I don’t sniff it. Is that a sin?”
“No, George. That is not a sin”. Replied the master.
The next day, George Wamaviti had yet another question;
“Suppose I look at a corpse, then I approach the corpse and smell it, is that a sin
“No, George. That is not a sin”. Replied the master.
As days went by, Wamaviti had more and more questions each day.
Supposing I sniff the corpse and walk away?
Supposing I smell and bite the corpse and walk away?
The last straw
What if I bite and chew without swallowing? Is that a sin?
The teacher had had enough. George, you cannot change your ways. You cannot be baptised. No way you cannot. Your appetite for corpses is insatiable. Go away.
In a huff, Fisi left the class without being awarded his moniker like the others. But Wamaviti still had one up his sleeve.
At the door, he turned to the master fisi and declared.
“we are hyenas. Change name or not, we eat corpses all the time. Even if you don’t baptise me, I will still be called George”
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